Actually, to be honest, this post isn’t ALL about the OUT West Boot Camp that I went to last weekend. Some of this has mulled around in my head for awhile as I’ve been working with different folks on different projects all related to Marriage Equality and justice for LGBTQ folks. But this blog post IS a response to the boot camp and Christine Pelosi’s call to reflect on our experiences and to blog about them as a way to continue the conversation in a very public way.
First, through the process of telling a little of “me”, I’m going to start with what I haven’t learned yet. If you don’t start with what you don’t know, then you’re missing the biggest opportunities for growth.
I feel like I’ve been an activist for LGBTQ justice for a long time now (not so long comparatively though!) and through many different life “events” and identity iterations. I’ve participated in many different ways from letter-writing and phone-calls to signature gathering, rally attendance, rally coordination, phone-bank attendance, phone-bank training, data-entry, event planning and on and on and on. Most recently, I’ve been stepping into more visible leadership roles as I feel that I have more experience and a voice that counts, or should count, and with the support and encouragement of fellow activists and friends. It’s clear to me (and others) that I have a real passion for pursuing civil rights but it isn’t always that easy for me to say why.
I guess the easiest answer to that question is that I’m queer and therefore as a queer person, I’m not at all okay with the idea that I could not marry my (theoretical) woman love. But really it’s more complex than that – I’m really not okay with oppression in any form. I find that it is important and personal to me to root out the cause of oppression wherever it is and whomever it affects – to call it out and name it publicly and within myself. Maybe it’s the mixture of academic and personal understanding of the many intersections of power, privilege and oppression. Maybe it’s just a developed sense of empathy based on my personal life experiences. I guess what I’m saying is that the reason that I am so passionate about marriage equality is because I feel that achieving this goal is one more step towards untangling the larger web of privilege and oppression whose effects are felt in very real every-day life by so many.
So, you see I don’t have any easy answer to “why.” One of the most repeated “calls” that I heard (from Dr. Eric Lee among others) and that I repeat in my daily life is that queer folks have to be out and visible. And I think some of us, even those of us who are fairly seasoned activists in the very practical ways are not necessarily the best at talking about ‘why’ on the personal level. So many folks have so many different reasons for their involvement in the struggle for queer justice – and most of those reasons are very personal. After all, it’s the personal story that is hopefully going to help us change hearts and minds. So we, and here I mean “I”, have to answer that call to be out by finding that sound byte – not just the rational argumentation that I’m good at delivering (even with emotion!) – but with that personal story that’s going to appeal to folks’ hearts.
So I guess I did learn something about my story – being “out” and visible for me means that I have to go deeper…
Other things that I learned:
Research is needed. I have a confession: I’m a sociologist (no, really I’m in the PhD program at UCSB) and prior to this boot camp I was a little annoyed with the idea that we needed more research. I thought that dammit, we done enough research now we need to simply put it to use. Clearly my social science degree should be revoked. We need continuous research on what messaging is effective such as whether it really is having “gay” couples in our ads or whether it should be the kid of said couple or whether we should really be about “hearts and minds” or if we should really be stocking up on rational arguments and rebuttals. I’m convinced that it’s going to take both and that we are going to need to be one step ahead at all times – but that’s why we need continuous research.
On the topic of messaging, I had a epiphany during Fleischer’s presentation when the young woman (who I believe stated that she used to a Mormon) stood up and said something to the effect that we want certain representations of our community and certain messaging because we are still trying to overcome the stigmatization of our identities, our sexuality, our selves. Add Pelosi’s four-square message box and it is clear to me: We want our parents’ acceptance and love. We want people to stand up for us and love us, exactly as we are. And that IS the goal of the larger movement. But the campaign for marriage equality is about meeting voters where they are. And they want to hear that their kids aren’t going to be taught about homosexuality in schools or that their clergy won’t be required to marry gays (shudder). We want to say “who the f*** cares anyway” but we won’t get their votes that way. We won’t win. We aren’t going to get everyone to agree that gay is good. But we might, might be able to get people to see the distinction between civil and religious marriage and if we can get people to see us as “human” long enough that they will understand that larger distinction, we will win. One step at a time, right?
What else? For me, the genius of the weekend was in the fact that if you were a beginner, there was ton of basic information through to you. If you were more experienced, the compactedness of the information was useful because it allowed you to put the pieces together (i.e, the trees in the forest). Fleischer’s Campaign Game was not only fun (and my team came in 4th – go us!) but gave us a realistic (imo) look at the challenges of running a successful campaign.
The Nuts & Bolts of Running a Field Office was basic information. That’s not to say that it wasn’t HUGELY useful to have all the information compacted and presented. It was seriously empowering and I’m very grateful (Thanks Ana and Sarah). I was already on board with the idea of targeted messaging and targeted voter contacts. But I really appreciated the crash course on “why” and how that information will be used in the actual field campaign. I think that many of us grassroots folks are planning on stepping up to run field campaigns in our area and even though I know we will have help from the more experienced organizers, it is good to be able to DIY. I’d be mistaken to not mention the crash course in DIY media usage was totally helpful and inspiring. I thank Lola from the bottom of my heart for showing me this. I think she’d be happy to know that my blogs, Facebook, and Twitter are now connected. I’ll work on the fan page soon.
I think the final thing that I want to say that really struck me throughout the weekend was the fact that coalition-building is not a one-way street. I think one of our communities’ biggest weaknesses has been that we are self-centered. Obviously I’m not speaking of individuals here but of the communities at large. We expect everyone to jump on board and help us fight our oppression but we can’t be bothered to take a stand with others as they fight their other, perhaps more salient and immediate, oppressions. We bemoan the lack of diversity in terms of race and ethnicity but are us white folks identifying ourselves as anti-racists and calling out racist oppression at every opportunity? Do we show up for others’ events or just the ones centered around celebrating queer identity? Until we deal with the ways in which we are also privileged how can we build strong coalitions. It isn’t only a matter of intentionally recruiting people of color to our campaign teams (although intentionality is part of the process) in the name of diversity – it’s about diversifying our outlook and our activism.
I feel like I could go on, but my thesis and my children call. I wish I could convey how energizing it was to be in that room with so many activists who cared about marriage equality. I had seen so many of these folks at other events and to know the depth of their commitment only solidified mine. To be given inspiration AND practical tools all at once was a real treat.
Ms. Pelosi – I’m a mama too and it’s hard enough juggling making a living as a mama, sometimes to be activist mother is nearly impossible. To see you there with your baby renewed my faith in myself that I could and should do this. Thank you for coming and thank you for coming with Isabella.
I always end meetings that I lead with a review of the action items; it seems appropriate here too, especially given Ms. Pelosi’s call to action.
1) work on my story
2) actively find those spaces not only about queer identity where I can stand in solidarity with others
3) use what I’ve learned at Boot Camp to build better organizations, better plans, and more productive dialogue with others.
To be continued….
